Thought precedes expression (usually)

I had another blog up--I contaminated it with poorly-executed manifestations of various ideas, some of which I still find intriguing and some of which I balk at, wondering why I ever thought that these were interesting topics. But I was younger then, and very stupid, and I'm amazed at the fact that I feel like I've learned so much since then, but at the same time I can believe it. College has definitely changed me--it has made me more cognizant of my own flaws; it has given me a sleep disorder; it has shown me that some people will want to be your friend, and some will not want to be your friend, and regardless of what you do you cannot choose for them what they want to be to you; it has shown me that, sometimes, no matter how much you want to do something, you simply cannot bring yourself to do it, and that's simply the way it is; it has shown me that sometimes what is important as prescribed by others is not what is productive as needed by yourself; it has shown me that affection is easily misplaced, but the misplacement is not always your own fault; it has shown me that situations, attitudes, and opinions change with such rapidity that sometimes worrying is not worth the effort; it has shown me that good ideas are often easier in theory than in practice; it has shown me that too much thought and not enough expression can cause too much mental pressure.

That's what this blog is for--self-expression; a valve to let the steam out of the pipes.

This blog is not for juvenile humor that is funny only because it presents tropes which have been funny before. This blog is not for trite platitudes wrought by way of topical analyses. This blog is for me and what keeps me up at 5:41 in the morning, scraping away at life for some sort of glimmer of import or relevance. This blog is where I will solve my problems and offer my solutions up for peer review. This blog is where I will aim at clarity of thought, at salience of conclusion, and at beauty of process. Sometimes it will be Max Planck (slaving over a hot blackboard, aiming at something finite through something appropriately systematic), sometimes it will be Cannonball Adderley (creating statements both lucid and fanciful, through vague parameters of taste and theory.) It will not be Dean Koontz (whose work I never did care for) or 38 Special (whose radio-friendly brand of neutered Southern rock I will never come to appreciate,) but the comparisons are frivolous, and entirely unrelated to the point.

I may think of something and decide to write about it. It will go on the blog. I may lose the thought before I write it down--I may be disheartened by having forgotten it, but if I can't remember the thought then I'll lose nothing by not writing it down. I've forgotten more than I can remember forgetting (try sorting that one out) and what I've learned through my forgetfulness is only that not everything that has ever been learned or thought need be remembered at all times.

I have no format and no requirements, save that what I write is what interests me while I am writing it. If I were writing about something I didn't care about, then I would be lying to myself--and what is gained by lying to oneself? I've done it too much in the past and I know that good can rarely come of it.